Lessons From NASPA: I’m not ready yet.

So in addition to reflecting on the stuff I’ve learned from living at home, I also want to reflect on what I’ve learned from working at NASPA. Is that cool, too? Cool.

Before my internship I had a one on one with my advisor. Lol, this one on one did not go as planned. I thought I had my life all figured out and was excited to share my life plans. Mind you, back in hmmm November-ish she basically told me I’m scattered brained and need to get my life together. So, I went back and thought all about my life. Gee, Brittany, what do you want to do? I went back to her in say, April, with my life plans. We chatted. She basically said I still didn’t have it together and I needed to narrow more. One thing that I was “sure” about was that I didn’t want to work on campus.

Well, I was wrong. Through this experience I’ve realized I’m not quite ready to leave campus yet. There are somethings that I am sure I don’t want to do long term, such as supervise a staff, but working off campus is not one of those things.

I miss the campus feel and the campus life. I miss seeing someone new everyday. I miss being able to burst into the Housing and Residence Life suite in New Hall West and dance in front of Tricia’s office or play with all of the fun things in Kathy’s office. I miss seeing students doing crazy things and random high fives from my students or RA’s. I miss the spirit that campus life has. My personality, I think, is meant for the campus life. I’m high energy and the campus allows me to express that energy.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve made some great connections at NASPA and have worked on some great projects, but I feel limited. I feel limited to a certain volume that we often exceed. I feel limited in the space that I have to roam and people I can see. When I’m in New Hall West, I often sit outside of the conference room and can talk to anyone from the VPSA to an RA. That’s one of my favorite places to see different faces. I miss that. I miss wearing t-shirts around campus and the infectious Hokie spirit.

Now I don’t know if this is just because I love Virginia Tech so much. I will venture to say that I can have this connection to almost any campus, but I just miss the campus feel. When you work on campus you aren’t limited to just your office. Some days you might spend more time in another building besides your own. You can head to different dining halls across campus for you. You can go to the gym if you wanted. When you work on campus there is a greater freedom to move and to know and be known. When I work in an office off campus, I feel that is all there is. I come to the same building and see the same people everyday. I’m not ready for that yet. I need the energy. I need the excitement. As corny as it sounds, I need the people. I work with about…I don’t know 20 or less people here. My WOO needs it! Okay, I sound like Dakota.

But seriously, there are different things that happen on a college campus that you can’t plan for. It’s exciting. Even in the midst of tragedy and crisis, it’s great to see the energy and know how much each minute matters. That’s incredible. Each minute really matters. Each minute I’m late responding to a duty call, it matters. Each minute a student is late for a one on one that will eventually make me late for next one, it matters. I can’t predict when one of my students will clog a toilet or even experience suicidial ideation. I miss working with the unknown and having to be ready to think creatively, quickly, and effectively. That’s where I shine the brightest, when I have to think quickly and creatively. Sometimes office works feels like a checklist of things to do each day then you go home and continue your life. Maybe that’s the intern office life, but I need the unpredictability that comes with working on campus. I also need the learning environment, but I’ll talk about that later.

But I learned I need to be on campus, for now at least. I can’t wait to go back! Go Hokies!

Lessons from Home: I needed this.

Whoa! It’s been quite some time since I’ve been on here, but I’m back. So my time at home and at NASPA is wrapping up. I want to spend the next couple posts reflecting on what I’ve learned since I’ve been home and through my experience with NASPA. Is that okay? I hope so.

So everyone knows how much I complained about you know well, living at home this summer. I wasn’t complaining because I disliked my family. I was complaining because I knew I would be giving up my own personal space and go back to sharing a house with my wonderful, wonderful family. I’m sure you all have a pretty good picture of what life is like with the Maffetts; it’s great, ha! Before I got home, all I could think about was losing that sense of my own space and my own freedom. I dreaded it. There were a couple reasons why I primarily took the internship at home, but living at home was not one of them. I’m not saying this to make my family feel bad or anything, because I know they’re reading this, but I’m just being honest.

Being at home has shown me this is just what I’ve needed. Since I went to college after high school, I’ve been pretty independent. I’ve worked and lived on my own during the academic year and most summers during college. I’m used to taking care of myself and generally living by myself. I’ve housed myself, paid for myself, fed myself, and developed a support system of college friends and res life mentors. That in a sense became my new family. I love it. I love my space and I love being able to do what I want to do on my time.

I’ve also changed a lot. I’ve barely matured, but most of all, I’ve fully come into who I am. High school is always that awkward toss up of trying to be you and trying to fit in. I don’t remember struggling with that too much, but now I am fully Brittany Maffett and continuing to grow more into and learn more about that person. I’m not 100% the same person I was when my family first sent me away for college. Knowing that always causes me a little tension when I go home. There are things about me that just don’t always “fit” with my family, so sometimes I feel like I don’t fit in. I’ve never felt like my family didn’t like me or anything, but I’m just the odd ball at times. My lifestyle is just different from that of my family. I’m sure many are thinking about my sexuality, but it’s not just that. It’s a lot of stuff. The way I talk, socialize, dress, think work, my passions…they’re just different. At school, they aren’t different, so that’s where I generally find my comfort.

Being at home was just what I needed. I’m not the oddball at all. I’m just like the rest of my family and am appreciated as much as everyone else. We all have our differences, mine may be a little more off the deep end than my siblings, but we are still equally my parent’s pride and joy. I am not trying to toot my own horn or anything, but I needed that. I needed that reassurance. It’s come in several ways throughout the summer. The way my mother expresses her love for us is incredible. We’ve never been a big Brady Bunch type family, but we all work hard, love hard, and be the best we can be. From my mom’s chair rants to complaining about my cleanliness to even my traumatic experience, my mother loves me. It’s an incredible love. It’s a love that my own “independence” felt I didn’t need at times.

Isn’t that crazy?

We get so “big” and “on our own” that we feel we don’t need those people and things that really are our core. We make so many friends and go into different jobs and feel like yeah, I got this. Well, when I was in Boyds, MD, who did I call? I needed this summer to really love, appreciate, and respect my family again the way I did when I grow up in this house. I needed this summer to see the value my family places over my life and to assure myself that I’m not the outcast. I needed this summer to fight with my brother again and sing with my sister despite her being unimpressed with my voice. I needed this summer to be with the most important people who I seemed to have pushed aside through my need for independence. I needed this summer to see again why I’m so excited to one day have my own family and share these same memories with my own loved ones.

This is probably the last time, God willing, that I’ll live at home for an extended period of time. It was an incredible time. I hung out with old friends and spent good time with my family. There’s more I could have done, but this lesson right here made it all worth it. I love my family and I hope to never forget or lose that connection no matter where I end up. I don’t want to get so involved in myself and what I’m doing that I forgot it was Charlotte and James raising that brought me where I am. Again, we we were never the big Brady Bunch family, but my parents instilled in me some values that lead me to the success I have today. My parents worked hard; they worked very hard so that we didn’t have to see any struggle or poverty. My parents disciplined us to be respectful and taught us how to talk to people. My parents taught us responsibility. I’m the baby, so I mean you know how that goes, but they held us to a standard and disciplined us when we didn’t meet expectations.

I’ve tried to credit myself and my mentors for where I am, but it’s not me. It’s not them. It’s the only people that I am God’s gift to– my family. I am thankful to have relearned that valuable lesson this summer.