Before my internship I had a one on one with my advisor. Lol, this one on one did not go as planned. I thought I had my life all figured out and was excited to share my life plans. Mind you, back in hmmm November-ish she basically told me I’m scattered brained and need to get my life together. So, I went back and thought all about my life. Gee, Brittany, what do you want to do? I went back to her in say, April, with my life plans. We chatted. She basically said I still didn’t have it together and I needed to narrow more. One thing that I was “sure” about was that I didn’t want to work on campus.

Well, I was wrong. Through this experience I’ve realized I’m not quite ready to leave campus yet. There are somethings that I am sure I don’t want to do long term, such as supervise a staff, but working off campus is not one of those things.

I miss the campus feel and the campus life. I miss seeing someone new everyday. I miss being able to burst into the Housing and Residence Life suite in New Hall West and dance in front of Tricia’s office or play with all of the fun things in Kathy’s office. I miss seeing students doing crazy things and random high fives from my students or RA’s. I miss the spirit that campus life has. My personality, I think, is meant for the campus life. I’m high energy and the campus allows me to express that energy.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve made some great connections at NASPA and have worked on some great projects, but I feel limited. I feel limited to a certain volume that we often exceed. I feel limited in the space that I have to roam and people I can see. When I’m in New Hall West, I often sit outside of the conference room and can talk to anyone from the VPSA to an RA. That’s one of my favorite places to see different faces. I miss that. I miss wearing t-shirts around campus and the infectious Hokie spirit.

Now I don’t know if this is just because I love Virginia Tech so much. I will venture to say that I can have this connection to almost any campus, but I just miss the campus feel. When you work on campus you aren’t limited to just your office. Some days you might spend more time in another building besides your own. You can head to different dining halls across campus for you. You can go to the gym if you wanted. When you work on campus there is a greater freedom to move and to know and be known. When I work in an office off campus, I feel that is all there is. I come to the same building and see the same people everyday. I’m not ready for that yet. I need the energy. I need the excitement. As corny as it sounds, I need the people. I work with about…I don’t know 20 or less people here. My WOO needs it! Okay, I sound like Dakota.

But seriously, there are different things that happen on a college campus that you can’t plan for. It’s exciting. Even in the midst of tragedy and crisis, it’s great to see the energy and know how much each minute matters. That’s incredible. Each minute really matters. Each minute I’m late responding to a duty call, it matters. Each minute a student is late for a one on one that will eventually make me late for next one, it matters. I can’t predict when one of my students will clog a toilet or even experience suicidial ideation. I miss working with the unknown and having to be ready to think creatively, quickly, and effectively. That’s where I shine the brightest, when I have to think quickly and creatively. Sometimes office works feels like a checklist of things to do each day then you go home and continue your life. Maybe that’s the intern office life, but I need the unpredictability that comes with working on campus. I also need the learning environment, but I’ll talk about that later.

But I learned I need to be on campus, for now at least. I can’t wait to go back! Go Hokies!

So everyone knows how much I complained about you know well, living at home this summer. I wasn’t complaining because I disliked my family. I was complaining because I knew I would be giving up my own personal space and go back to sharing a house with my wonderful, wonderful family. I’m sure you all have a pretty good picture of what life is like with the Maffetts; it’s great, ha! Before I got home, all I could think about was losing that sense of my own space and my own freedom. I dreaded it. There were a couple reasons why I primarily took the internship at home, but living at home was not one of them. I’m not saying this to make my family feel bad or anything, because I know they’re reading this, but I’m just being honest.

Being at home has shown me this is just what I’ve needed. Since I went to college after high school, I’ve been pretty independent. I’ve worked and lived on my own during the academic year and most summers during college. I’m used to taking care of myself and generally living by myself. I’ve housed myself, paid for myself, fed myself, and developed a support system of college friends and res life mentors. That in a sense became my new family. I love it. I love my space and I love being able to do what I want to do on my time.

I’ve also changed a lot. I’ve barely matured, but most of all, I’ve fully come into who I am. High school is always that awkward toss up of trying to be you and trying to fit in. I don’t remember struggling with that too much, but now I am fully Brittany Maffett and continuing to grow more into and learn more about that person. I’m not 100% the same person I was when my family first sent me away for college. Knowing that always causes me a little tension when I go home. There are things about me that just don’t always “fit” with my family, so sometimes I feel like I don’t fit in. I’ve never felt like my family didn’t like me or anything, but I’m just the odd ball at times. My lifestyle is just different from that of my family. I’m sure many are thinking about my sexuality, but it’s not just that. It’s a lot of stuff. The way I talk, socialize, dress, think work, my passions…they’re just different. At school, they aren’t different, so that’s where I generally find my comfort.

Being at home was just what I needed. I’m not the oddball at all. I’m just like the rest of my family and am appreciated as much as everyone else. We all have our differences, mine may be a little more off the deep end than my siblings, but we are still equally my parent’s pride and joy. I am not trying to toot my own horn or anything, but I needed that. I needed that reassurance. It’s come in several ways throughout the summer. The way my mother expresses her love for us is incredible. We’ve never been a big Brady Bunch type family, but we all work hard, love hard, and be the best we can be. From my mom’s chair rants to complaining about my cleanliness to even my traumatic experience, my mother loves me. It’s an incredible love. It’s a love that my own “independence” felt I didn’t need at times.

Isn’t that crazy?

We get so “big” and “on our own” that we feel we don’t need those people and things that really are our core. We make so many friends and go into different jobs and feel like yeah, I got this. Well, when I was in Boyds, MD, who did I call? I needed this summer to really love, appreciate, and respect my family again the way I did when I grow up in this house. I needed this summer to see the value my family places over my life and to assure myself that I’m not the outcast. I needed this summer to fight with my brother again and sing with my sister despite her being unimpressed with my voice. I needed this summer to be with the most important people who I seemed to have pushed aside through my need for independence. I needed this summer to see again why I’m so excited to one day have my own family and share these same memories with my own loved ones.

This is probably the last time, God willing, that I’ll live at home for an extended period of time. It was an incredible time. I hung out with old friends and spent good time with my family. There’s more I could have done, but this lesson right here made it all worth it. I love my family and I hope to never forget or lose that connection no matter where I end up. I don’t want to get so involved in myself and what I’m doing that I forgot it was Charlotte and James raising that brought me where I am. Again, we we were never the big Brady Bunch family, but my parents instilled in me some values that lead me to the success I have today. My parents worked hard; they worked very hard so that we didn’t have to see any struggle or poverty. My parents disciplined us to be respectful and taught us how to talk to people. My parents taught us responsibility. I’m the baby, so I mean you know how that goes, but they held us to a standard and disciplined us when we didn’t meet expectations.

I’ve tried to credit myself and my mentors for where I am, but it’s not me. It’s not them. It’s the only people that I am God’s gift to– my family. I am thankful to have relearned that valuable lesson this summer.

She put me in my place. This was in response to a text I sent her that said
“Please don’t ask me to go to the grocery store then go yourself.”

She text me earlier in the day at work and asked me to pick up a bag of potatoes and sausage for her. She said please and thank you, so I did it. I went to the store and got the stuff for her before coming home around 9pm. She calls me WHILE I’m on the way back from getting HER stuff and says “did you go to the store? Oh well I’m here now.” Then she runs into a friend at the store and stops listening to me so I hung up. Then the conversation above happened.

How can I have a tone in a text message?

I can’t make this stuff up.

So, I take the MARC train to and from work everyday. The MARC is a commuter train that runs from West Virginia, through Frederick and Montgomery County, and into Washington, DC. In the morning, I board at 7:36am en route to Union Station in Washington, DC. I arrive by 8:30am most days. At the end of the day, I board by 5:15 and usually arrive at Germantown, MD by 6:05pm. Where it goes past Germantown, I do not know. That is not my business.

Well last week it became my business in the most traumatic way.

So when I get on the train, I get all comfy and nestled in my seat. I pull out my iPhone and turn Spotify on to whatever is tickling my fancy at the moment, usually Jason Mraz or Deadmau5 (different, huh?). I digress. Once I show the friendly conductor my ticket, I go to sleep. Now here’s the thing; EVERYONE goes to sleep and EVERYONE wakes up on time for their stop. I’ve mastered this commuter skill as well. I usually will set an alarm for 6:00pm so I’m up in time.

Well on this particular day, my routine was the same. I got on, sat down, put my headphones on, and went to sleep. This time, I woke up as we were pulling off from Germantown station. I immediately went into panic mode. Everything in me said “okay I blew it.” I called my Mom in the most frightening voice and said “Mom, I did something really bad. I missed my stop and I don’t know where I’m going.” Like any mother, she began panicking, but tried to remain calm for my sake. I couldn’t think straight, so I hung up and ran to the nearest open train car so I could attempt to exit. By the time I got there, I almost missed the next stop. The train was beginning to pull off AGAIN as I yelled to the conductor to stop. I ran to him nearly crying and said “I missed my stop in Germantown. Is there anyway I can go back.”

This man looked at me and said “you better get off now, it only gets worse.”

REALLY?! Why would you say that to someone CLEARLY in distress. I hopped off the train and said okay in 5 seconds, I’m going to lose it. And I mean I lost it completely. I was crying hysterically. Mind you, I am not a cryer. It takes a lot to get me to cry and today I reached just the right “a lot.” The rude people around me didn’t cater to my hysteria at all. I called my mom crying hysterically.

Now this was a beautiful mother moment. She kept trying to calm me down and stop me to stop crying and immediately she said “I’ll take care of it.” That’s the amazing thing about parenting. No matter how much your kids act like they don’t need you, when they are at their moment of weakness, you always come through. I always talk about how independent I am, but in that moment the only person who could pull me up by my bootstraps was my mom and she did just that. She asked me where I was an I somehow told her Boyds, MD through my hysteria.

Now for anyone who knows where Boyds is in comparison to Germantown, do not care. I told you earlier, past Germantown is not my business.

So this is where I stood crying by myself in 97 degree weather with four men drinking beer across the tracks.

About three minutes later, my brother called. Of course I’m traumatized, so I don’t want to hear a bunch of foolishness. I pick up to the sound of him mocking my crying. Of course that sets me off even more. After his laugther and my hysteria he finally says.

“Man, do you know where you are.”

“NO! I’m lost and stuck here.”

“You’re in Boyds, MD. That’s 10 minutes from the house.”

Still in my mind, I was in the middle of nowhere in West Virginia. He assured me that he was on the way and everything would be okay. My mom called back trying to calm me down. Eventually I calmed down and started to be normal again.

In that moment, I lost it completely. I couldn’t control myself and lost all faith in myself to resolve the situation on my own. I catastrophized the whole situation into something way more than it had to be. Rather than staying calm and just dealing with it, I lost it. And I lost it real good too. That was the most traumatic experience of my life.

So I learned, Brittany you’ve got to relax. I’m not type A, but I do like to be in control of myself and situations involving me. Because I felt like I lost total control in this situation, I lost all control of me. I felt like I was headed to no man’s land, when I was really 10 minutes up the road. I learned, just breathe and it’ll be okay. I can’t control everything all the time, but just relax and it’ll all be okay.

I haven’t gone to sleep on the train since that day.

When I walked in the house, I could barely open the door before my mom was all over me, hugging me, and making sure I was okay. The mother’s love for her children is incredible. Then she said “aawww I guess I do like you.”

Charlotte always wins.

So I packed a veggie wrap, these baked air chips, an apple, apple sauce, and some cheerios for breakfast.

I eat this or something similar everyday for lunch and am just fine. So I’m sitting here typing away at work and receive this email. The subject was “My Lunch Bag.” I opened it thinking it would be a thank you or something. Look what she sent me….

“Brittany – what kind of lunch is this packed. I don’t want no veggie wrap – I thought that thing had some turkey and cheese and in it!!!

Then the chips are some kind of puffed air – we eat UTZ chips.

However thanks for the nice gesture. though……very nice.”

So I replied

“Okay then I won’t make you a lunch again………

She just sent back

“Brittany it was just a joke……my goodness, why are you taking it so personal. I was just having some fun with you. Are you that uptight?”

WHAT THE HECK AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY TO THAT?! Ugh, Charlotte.

I cannot make this stuff up.

1. Do not sit on her bed

So the other night, I just got back from the gym and wanted to spend sometime with my mother. That’s pretty normal right? So she has her “sitting chair” in her room, similar to the one she was in the living room. This is where she sits from the time she wakes up to the time she goes downstairs in the morning to her other sitting chair. When she gets home, she undresses in that sitting chair and will relax…..in that chair. Her sitting chair. Mind you, she has a king size bed right next to her. But oh no, don’t sit on her bed. My mom treats her bed like it is the most prized possession she owns. So when I went in her room, I laid across her bed. She kept looking at me nervously and could barely focus on what she was doing.

Finally she said, “uhhh Brittany I don’t like the way you’re sitting on my bed.”

I responded “Mom, it’s a bed, you’re supposed to sit on it.”

She said, “Well, I don’t. I don’t like the way you’re all sprawled out across my bed and you just got back from the gym.”

I laughed and said, “Mom, how am I supposed to sit on it?”

She said, “You’re not. I don’t even sit on it. You’re tearing up my comforter and pillows. Brittany, get down on the floor that is bothering me.”

So I laughed again but more in a you’re being ridiculous voice and said “Mom, you are acting like this is some throne.”

She interjected and said “IT IS MY THRONE NOW GET OFF IT AND I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU THINK!”

Well, she told me.

This was all over a bed. A bed that is meant for sitting. But oh no, not Charlotte’s bed. When I got up, she made me fix the three wrinkles I made and acted like I wet her bed or something. You would think that I really just destroyed it the way she was huffing and puffing.

2. Don’t cut your toenails in her room

So a few weeks, no a month, I got a pedicure with Patrick. I got my toe nails painted Virginia Tech colors. Now I’m sure you can imagine that they are a little raggedy by now. I didn’t know where my toe nail clipper was, so I asked the one woman I knew who would have on, my mother.

“Mom do you have a toenail clipper I can use?” me in my sweet, angelic voice.

She acted like she didn’t hear me. My mom doesn’t like for us to use her stuff because she says we either break it or don’t return it.

So I repeated myself and she still did not respond. Finally, the third time is a charm. She hands me this raggedy cuticle clipper and said that’s all she had. Now, I didn’t believe that for a second. My mom is one of those people that buys those little manicure sets just because the case is pretty. But I took what she offered.

So I propped my foot up to get to work. She look at me like this. I swear it was like she was ready to fight.

She said, “Do not clip your toenails in my room. I do not like finding people’s nasty toenails on my floor.” First, who is searching for toenails in the carpet? Only Charlotte…

I laughed as I usually do and said “Mom, stop tripping I will pick them up. I’m only cutting two.”

She said, “No. I’m not playing do not clip your toenails in here.”

So I started clipping them. She said, “So you are just going to do it anyway after I told you not to? I can’t believe that. You are straight up just going to do whatever you want.”

I said, “Mom I’m just clipping two I will pick them up.”

She had enough she said, “GET OUT OF MY ROOM!”

I started hysterically laughing and continued she said, “Get out or I am going to hit you in the head with this shoe!” She sat there waving the shoe over my head. By this time I lost it. I was done for.

She started ranting about how we don’t pay her any attention and how we do whatever we want and continued to tell me to get of her room. So I said, “How are you going to kick me out of your room?”

She said, “This is my room and I can do what I want! I don’t come in y’alls room causing chaos. You all always want to disrupt me in my room. This is my room! Now get out and don’t come back in here with all that foolishness!”

She really kicked me out of her room over some toenails. She also hit me in the head with her shoe.

I can’t make this stuff up.

This made me think about how important space really is. The way we decorate our and live in our spaces communicates a lot about us. It communicates what’s important to us and what are those little things that make us feel at home. Our space is our time to separate from others and just be. A space doesn’t have to be a bedroom or an office; it can be any area that you designate as your own to just be. For my mom, that space is her room and there are rules to that space. Because that is her space, there are things we can and cannot do. Dealbreakers.

Last semester we talked a lot about Lewin’s equation, B= f(P,E). Behavior is a function of person and environment. The way the person interacts within an environment has great implications on his or her behaviors. How I occupy my space versus how I occupy my mother’s space are two different behaviors. Your environment has implications on how you act.

We can’t fully control the P, but we can control the E. When we create spaces and places for friends, families, students, or whoever to occupy, we decide what goes into those spaces and in turn those decisions have implications on what happens within that space. If we take our children’s room and fill them with TV’s, electronics, toys, and mini-fridges stocked with sodas, that has implications on how they do or do not behave and interact with the family. They can chose to disconnect themselves because their environment allows them to have all their needs met in their own space. Why bother leaving your room when everything is right there? Who cares about in-person social interactions when you can shoot zombies and talk to other gamers on your XBOX?

The way we fill our spaces is so important. It’s not just decoration, but it affects our behavior.

Think about how you have your office decorated. Your office communicates things about you that might change the way people interact in it. For example, in the housing and residence life suite there are some offices that I will gladly walk in, while there are some I will not. What the environment says impacts my behavior in that space. For the offices I won’t walk in, I’ll stand at the door and politely ask my question or briskly walk past with an awkward hello. While the offices I will walk in, I’ll take a seat, say hello, and spark up a conversation because the environment makes me feel like it’s okay to do so.

So look around. Look at your space. Who is it inviting in or shutting out? What does your space communicate about you? How are you behaving in your space and how does your space cause others to behave or chose not to even exist in your space?

The way we decorated our cube, or rather, the way Amelia decorated our cube says a lot about us. It says that we made this space ours and want people to come in and comment on the craziness. We made it fun and interny because that’s what and who we are. Our space is fun enough to where it doesn’t drive us crazy from blank walls, but functional enough to where we can still get work done. We pulled an extra chair in, so our space is inviting for someone to sit in for a while or eye-catching enough to where folks walking past might be more likely to say hi. While we weren’t “intentional” about this from the beginning, the environment we created still impacts behavior.

Now I should probably use this space to do some work. Love yaah NASPA.

Aren’t we cute? Clearly I got the looks in the family.

Commuting via public transportation in the city is not a game. It’s just like driving; there are rules to it that you don’t break. When you do break them, it’s usually bad news bears. At Union Station there’s people traveling using up to 10 different forms of public transportation, so you have to move and you have to move quickly. Today, I broke one of those rules.

I got into a little “fender bender.”

I was walking in a lane obviously too slow for the pace I wanted to go and accidentally hit the lady in front of me with my lunch bag. My bag had a pretty substantial container (that makes me sound fat) and an umbrella in it, so it wasn’t a light tap. I was ready to quickly apologize and cover my face in embarrassment of breaking the commuter rules, but she responded in a way I didn’t expect.

“Oh I’m so sorry!” me

“Oh it’s okay!” walk walk walk turn around again “I thought you were my brother!” giggle giggle

Polite giggle from me… “haha, not quite!”

Hearty giggle from her “he likes to sneak up on me and scare me when I’m coming in the station!”

More genuine giggle from me “Ha! That sounds like my brother. They never change.”

Even heartier giggle from her “One day…I’m going to get him back, just watch!” Then she hurried off as her brown straight leg chinos kissed the tip of her bright turquoise Keds.

I smiled and thought well I guess my brother isn’t the only asshole.

Knowing the commuter game, I was all ready to be told about myself or get the look of death. She didn’t do that. That small moment took her back to a memory of the wonderful relationship that many of us are blessed to have: siblings. I’ve never really been besties with my siblings, but we have a decent relationship.

Let me explain mine for a second. I have a brother and a sister. My brother and I are very similar in personality, but he’s well….he’s just Gregory. Let’s just say that. My sister is the oldest and very much so acts, looks, everything like the oldest. We try to act tough, but we know at the end of the day after the parentals, she’s next in line. We are all very different, but like each other just fine.

When the lady thought it was her brother tripping her, it reminded me of the jerk things my brother used to do growing up. For example, one night we were in the mall with the family, but my brother and I split off to walk around alone. In the middle of the mall he decided to trip me and yell “LOOK AT THE FAT GIRL ON THE GROUND!” I cannot make that up. So imagine growing up with that my whole life.

Now, I love my siblings. I’d do anything in the world for them. But in the paragraph before I said, “we are all very different, but like each other just fine.” That to me feels like we’re just putting up with each other. We have our differences and we butt heads like any other siblings, but I feel like we should do a better job of really having a deeper relationship. Admittedly, my brother and I consult each other for a lot advice, particularly around women (because they’re crazy), but the three of us don’t have that deep connection you see between a lot of siblings.

My mom and my aunt are best friends without a doubt. They go on all their trips together and make life plans with each other. They have an account together to save money for their trips. Their next big trip is to Paris. I asked my Mom did she plan on inviting any of us and she said “Oh you know we don’t bring other people with us.” Lol, first off…..what? Ok Charlotte, I’ll let you have that one. But they genuinely enjoy each others company and make sure they sustain that relationship. They enjoy the time they spend together without useless arguments or attitudes and will absolutely do anything for the other.

My siblings and I aren’t quite there yet. I mean we should be, we have been around each other you know 23+ years, but we just don’t have that relationship my mom and aunt have. I’m not sure if it’s a little too later, I don’t think it is, but we are all so concentrated in our own lives that it becomes hard to come together. I’m away at school 90% of the year. My brother is head over heals in love and deeply involved in his churhc. My sister travels to Salisbury every weekend to be with her church and friends there. Our lives are so separate and we rarely find the time or even desire to come together. We are missing those times where we have the freedom to do so before we really get committed to our own families and careers. Am I fostering a relationship with my siblings that my nieces and nephews will look at us they way I look at my mom and my aunt? Will I even play a large part in my nieces and nephews lives if I don’t play that large of a role in my sibling’s lives?

What we do in our present always has implications on our future. One of my strengths is futuristic, so I know I always look at things in the long term. I try not to do things that will only benefit me now, but look towards opportunities that will sustain in the long run. When my parents meet their maker, my siblings will be my continuation of them. If I don’t honor and value that relationship and gift now, who’s to say what will happen to us when the glue, my parents, are no longer with us.

What are those relationships and people you are missing out on? Who would you find on your missed connections page on Craigslist? I hate those general sayings like life is short blah blah, it actually isn’t…it’s the longest thing we do. But in that long time we are lucky to have, I hate wasting it by having those missed connections even with the folks closet to me: my family.

“Brittany can you go check the thermostat?”

“Sure.”

“What does it say?”

“83 degrees.”

“Okay, good. Now don’t touch it! I’m serious. I have it set to keep my electricity bill down.”

“Mom, it’s hot in the house….”

“I don’t care. Turn the fan on. Y’all don’t pay the electricity, so it’s to stay right there and I mean it. Don’t bother my air conditioning.”

This is the fan

And she meant it. Mind you, Charlotte was out of town at the time. Something went off in her head to call me and remind me not to touch the air conditioning. If she came home and the air was set to anything less than 83 degrees, it would be on and poppin. She would probably send a collection plate around the house to collect the difference in her bill from one month to the next. We aren’t ballin or anything, but we certainly are comfortable and my mom acts like this bill is the deal breaker. She celebrates a low bill and strives to make the next one even lower. So what does that mean for us? Lights out, sucka! Last summer it was set to 87, maybe we’re bringing in a little more money or something since we got the upgrade to 83.

One of the rules when I got home was I wasn’t going to run up her electricity bill. That’s a deal breaker. When she found out my work schedule she said oh good now you won’t be at home tearing everything up and running up my electricity bill. She bought this like super fan that she advises us to sit in front of if we are warm. I asked could I move it to the basement…World War III. I won’t even go into all of that. Basically she told me it’s not hot down there and she doesn’t care what I say. Her house, her rules right?

Then she got in my car and told me to turn my AC on from my $3.46 gas.. Tuh!

I love that woman.

I, too, am one of those commuters.

Yesterday a man stopped me when I was probably 20 feet away from my office. I thought not today sir, I’m almost at work. He went through this whole story about not having money to get back to West Virginia where he lives. He said he was trying to earn $17 to get back on the MARC train. He pulled out his identification and everything. With about $27 in my wallet, I lied to his face and said “I’m sorry sir, I don’t carry cash. Have a good day though.” I felt bad for a second, but went about my day. Something similar happened in Louisville at about 3:00am as a I stumbled home from the Big Gay Dance at ACPA, but I gave into his story so I could get home.

Today, I saw a busy and well fed commuter do something different. She did something that no one has done in my two weeks being here.

A tall, well-dressed woman stopped to the homeless man who greets the commuters good morning and the conversation went like this…

“Hey John! I brought you a sandwich” as she kneeled down and rubbed his shoulder. She didn’t hand him some raggedy McDonald’s sandwich. It was nicely wrapped so he could store some for later.

“Thank you baby! God Bless you!” said John as he graciously took the sandwich

“God Bless you too! You take care of yourself ok?” she said staring into his eyes, something most people probably won’t do. Ut prosim.

Every morning we rush past these people and ignore them. We get angry because they’re begging. We think they should get up and get a job. We put them into a box of people we just ignore. I’m guilty of it. I’m guilty of it everyday. This woman though, she didn’t let her time and life get away from what we all should be doing. She may or may not know his story, but she took the time to learn his name and help him. I always think I’m just a poor graduate student, I can’t help anybody. I just bought a brand new car, I think I can help someone. I don’t care enough to help.

We need those people who still care.

We are an unhappy and uncaring people. We are self-involved and only empowered by our own interests. We complain about providing for our own families and gripe at our children when they behave the way children should. We complain about our jobs, but smile and collect the paycheck every two weeks. We do everything but care on a regular basis. The folks who genuinely do care are often abused and taken advantage of to where their care no longer is seen as care to others but a plan b. My mother is one of those caring people, but my brother takes advantage of it to where she will always be one of those plan b in case his plan goes wrong. If money is a little short, “hey mom I need to borrow this much” with the expectation that she will agree. My mom emailed with one those spammers who want to use your bank account to transfer money for about a month simply to pray with that person and encourage him or her. I bet that was unexpected.

We need those people who still care.

I think the people we can learn this best from are children. When we get older, we become so complex. We become so complexly stupid. Children enjoy those simple things that allows them to care. A few weeks ago I got to play with my supervisor’s kids. Aside from my nieces, I rarely see kids. We played softball, chase, boogey man, and all sorts of games. They didn’t know me from the next person, but they played with me and took time to care about me in that moment. When they went to bed, they hugged me goodnight as if I was someone regularly involved in their life. They cared about me without their own interests in mind.

We need those people who still care.

In student affairs we talk so much about actively caring and doing this and that. Do we really care? I know when I have that paper due the next day, I do not care. Simple as that, I. Do. Not. Care. My job is to care, yet when I get so involved in my own business, I do not care. This happens all the time. We need those people who still care. We need them to teach us how to care. We need something to happen to make us care. When we do care, we become trend carers. For example, everyone was all about KONY. Who talks about it now? Who still cares? We get wrapped up in trend causes and will hashtag anything, but rarely do anything to truly actively care and participate in helping. I’m guilty of it all and who knows if even after this I’ll do something to change my behavior. I guess it’s not an overnight kind of thing, but I wish I cared more.